It's not one of those intense rushes of emotion, like how it must feel to win the lottery. It's a general state of near-perfection, that I can't quite find words to describe. [If I could have one superpower, I would want to be able to find the perfect words to make people feel exactly what I am trying to communicate. Imagine the power in that!] I think that my life right now is snow-globe worthy. I wish I could bottle everything and everyone up and save this forever. Because this feels like home.
I am taking the liberty of writing down who and what makes this bliss, because this is my blog and I do what I want, fool!:
People
The girls of apartment 1507
-Jana
-Marcie
-Brittany
The boys of Metcalf Street
-Stephen
-Tom
-William
The somewhat-departed Mililani friends
-Kak
-Matt
-Brad
Friends who live elsewhere
-Beth S.
-Aaron
-Betsy
-Too many more
Places
Apartment 1507
The house on Metcalf
My hot tub, stuffed with people
My house, people sleeping everywhere
Adventuring for days, without going home
Times of Bliss
Sunset surfing with the aforementioned folks
Camping, especially in the rain
Jelly bears and brownies
Learning how to pee in the bushes
Impromptu pizza devouring up Tantalus
Pancakes, at any hour
Paper chains and chalk murals
Lazy sunbathing on the beach
Spooning/Cuddle sessions
Weekly Greek food
Fierce games of Mafia, Kent, and Murder in the Dark
Watching Korean soap operas and movies with Will
Babysitting my little cousins
Endless beach time
North Shore, the greatest movie ever
Shave ice
Maunapua, pork hash, and rice cake
Thrift store scores
Makapu'u
Bigger Plans
Doing well in all my classes
Getting a fat check for being a lab rat
Preparing to go to Ukraine for the fall
Getting generous donations for Ukraine
Family cruise at the end of summer
Jana and Stephen getting hitched
Preparing to serve a mission
Savoring time with my grandparents
I don't mean to brag, I just don't want to forget. I feel so lucky to have these people in my life; as individuals, they are exactly what I need right now. They help me learn and grow so much, more than they could possibly know. They even take care of me when I need it most, and they probably don't know that either. I leave Hawaii and all this behind at the end of July. I feel like I'm hurdling towards my departure faster and faster, when all I want to do is put on the brakes and slow time down for a bit. I have to constantly remind myself that other adventures lie ahead, and that although making new friends won't replace the ones I have now, it won't displace them either.
I guess that above all else, I fear time. That's why I wish I could take this period of my life and bottle it up, saving it for as long as I need. I am always ready for new adventures, but what if it won't ever be this good again? I just can't imagine being happier than I am right now, with these people in my life--that fact alone makes me extremely lucky, I suppose. Jana and I talk about how we want to gather up all the people that we love, and live together on an island with warm water and perfect waves. Somehow we will all end up marrying our friends (or siblings of friends, ha!) and then our kids can play together. And we will surf. A lot. Brittany and I have discussed this feeling also, and we both thought of Jimmy Eat World, I fall asleep with my friends around me, the only place I know I feel safe. I'm gonna call this home... In the moments I forget myself, they are always there to remind me of who I am and who I want to be. If that's not home, I don't know what is.
I've been here for two years, but at least once a day I find myself thinking I live in Hawaii! How amazing is that?
Is eternal bliss too much to ask?
Some of the people I love, Easter 2009.I wish you could feel how perfect this felt, hence my woozy smile.
aww. i think you might already have that superpower, you described the feeling perty well. I wish you luck holding on to it. i know you will always be part of my snow globe of hawaii bliss. :]
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