Let's go on a living spree.

I watched Australia again the other night, and the oh-so-rugged-and-chiseled Hugh Jackman said something to Nicole Kidman that really struck me,

In the end all you own is your story. I'm just trying to live a good one.

(mmm...)

I didn't think much of it the first time I watched the movie, but I just happened to go broke this week. Worse than broke. In debt. I spent about an hour on the phone with the bank trying to sort out some financial confusion, and then I had to borrow money from my parents. Not the greatest feeling, but it happens.

I have been putting together fundraising letters to earn some money for my volunteer-abroad in Ukraine this fall, and I couldn't afford stamps for mailing the letters. Huh. Too poor to charity fund raise. That's the bitter taste of irony for you.

I finally found about $80 cash, basically in my sock drawer. I sat at a table in the mall, sticking stamp after stamp on fundraising letters and watching the people go by.

Watching the people go buy.

I felt dirt poor, watching well-dressed old ladies come out of Macy's with bags of clothing. Hip highschoolers leaving PacSun with overpriced jeans and neon sunglasses. Middle school mall-rats slurping Jamba Juice and awkwardly flirting with each other. I wanted to shout I can barely afford stamps for a fundraiser for charity! You don't need another pair of shoes!

Sitting there in the mall, piss poor in the middle of their shopping sprees, I somehow felt like they owed me something. I don't know what or why; it was such a strange feeling. Like I was Dorothy in the eye of the tornado, all this money whirling around me, just out of reach.

Then the strangest thing happened. A giant Easter bunny sat down at the table next to me and waved. I laughed. I remembered the photo shoot set up by the entrance to the mall, parents paying a mint for a picture of their precious pookie with the Easter bunny. The bunny sat down next to me, probably taking a break from all the snot-nosed kids. I thought about how I was the only person in the mall who had a bunny sit down by them that day. And how I would rather have that little moment than a new pair of shoes.

That oversized Easter bunny completely changed my attitude. The people at the mall were getting clothes and shoes and toys, but I was getting an indelible experience, a new chapter in my story.

That's when Hugh Jackman's quote hit me. I could sit there in the mall jealous of what everyone was buying, or I could save my money to buy stamps that would send me on an adventure to Ukraine. I choose Ukraine. Besides, they'll get tired of their clothes soon enough, and I can get them for practically free at Goodwill in a couple months.

:)